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Creation of a PUSSY! 5/26/2002
Seven wise men with knowledge so fine created a pussy to
their design. First was a Butcher, smart with wit, using a knife he gave
it a SLIT. Second was a Carpenter, strong and bold, with hammer and
chisel, he gave it a hole. Third was a Tailor, tall and thin, with a piece of red velvet
he lined it within. Fourth was a Hunter, short and stout, with a piece of fur
he lined it without. Fifth ...
0 Comments, 24 Views,
118 Votes
,6.47 Score
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===========c=a=r=t=o=o=n====j=o=k=e============== 5/9/2002
What part of popeye will never rust??????????????????????????
The bit he dips in olive oil!
0 Comments, 9 Views,
133 Votes
,4.45 Score
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viagra 5/9/2002
my girl was feelin kinda frisky. Im impotant, so I have to
get viagra from the chemist. "I know, Take it now and we can
get down to it as soon as I get back, It will be a nice supprise"
Having no water the viagra gets stuck in my throat. I get
home no sex, girlfriends pissed off, so off I go to bed. Next
morning I wakeup with a stiff neck!
0 Comments, 13 Views,
60 Votes
,0.06 Score
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Obsessions 4/19/2002
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session
with four young mothers and their small <br>
"You all have obsessions, " he observed. To the first mother,
he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named
your Candy." <br>
He turned to the second Mom. "Your obsession is with money.
Again, it manifests itself in your 's name, Penny."
<br>
He turns to ...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
210 Votes
,8.68 Score
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fucking the pool man 2/1/2002
I am Donna, a 42 year old housewife (look 32) with a model's
figure and 34D tits. I live in a sunshine state and nude sunbathe
year round. One day a new pool man caught me off guard and
observed me totally nude by the pool. He was young, muscular,
and handsome and I let him take a good look as I towled off
and excused myself to let him work. He commented on my body
and said he missed ...
0 Comments, 49 Views,
148 Votes
,7.40 Score
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Island Fun 1/17/2002
I have always been a bit of an exhibitionist, but my wife
is very shy about showing her body. In general, I do not think
she even wants to see herself naked. However, when she has
been drinking a lot, this changes. She still does not want
others to see her naked, but she takes a lot more risks. For
example, it is not unusual for me to talk her out of all of
her clothes on a ride home from ...
4 Comments, 273 Views,
87 Votes
,8.67 Score
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fucked your ass 6/11/2001
once astudent of our college went to buy a bed for himself
when he was coming back he met one of his friends who asked
him where were you he said" i went to buy this bed"
his friend asked for how much
he replied" for rs400"
his friend siad you have got your ass fucked and went away
<br>
he thought he may have bought itat higher rate so he decided
to tell the rate as rs300 ...
0 Comments, 67 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
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Nymphomaniac Convention 5/30/2001
A man boards an airplane and takes his seat. As he settles
in, he glances up and sees a very beautiful woman boarding
the plane. He soon realizes she's heading straight towards
his seat. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside
his. <br>
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, "Business
trip or vacation?" She turns, smiles and says, "Business.
I'm going to the annual ...
0 Comments, 16 Views,
24 Votes
,6.99 Score
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Dumb Blonde 5/11/2001
There was a blonde and her house was on fire so she called
the fire department and said, "You have to help me. My house
is burning." The fireman said, "O.K.Lady we will help.
Tell us how to get there." The blonde replied, "Da, Big Red
Truck."
0 Comments, 6 Views,
16 Votes
,5.92 Score
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Pussy vs. beer 5/8/2001
A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.
A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.
Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.
Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
Advantage: Draw.
If you get a hair ...
0 Comments, 11 Views,
12 Votes
,4.92 Score
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MASTURBATING BULL 9/26/2000
Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL A BULL THAT MASTURBATES?
<br>
A: BEEF STROGANOFF!
3 Comments, 84 Views,
7 Votes
,5.84 Score
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Do you want fries with that? 9/11/2000
What do you call a 300 pound woman with a yeast infection?
<br>
A: A Whopper with cheese!
3 Comments, 44 Views,
12 Votes
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Bowler's Hands 9/9/2000
A man?s wife asked him to go to the store to buy her some cigarettes.
So he walked down to the store, only to find it closed. He
went into a nearby bar to get cigarettes from the vending
machine. At the bar he noticed a beautiful woman and he started
talking to her. They had a couple of drinks, one thing led
to another, and they ended up in her apartment. After they
had their fun he ...
0 Comments, 9 Views,
29 Votes
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ATM Dancer 9/7/2000
So the other day, my friends and I went to this "Ladies Night
Club".
<br>
One of the girls wanted to impress us, so she pulls out a $10
bill. The
"dancer" came over to us, and my friend licked the $10 and
put it on his
butt cheek.
<br>
Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She
calls the
guy back over, licks the $20 bill and puts it on his ...
3 Comments, 92 Views,
58 Votes
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Lantern of Events 8/29/2000
In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed
into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track.
Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court.
At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the
driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly
a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd ...
0 Comments, 20 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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On Prostitutes 8/23/2000
Q. What do you call a with a runny nose?
A. Full
Q. Why do prostitutes lean on lamp posts?
A. To drain
0 Comments, 10 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
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Who wants to be a millionaire? 8/23/2000
The man asks the wife if he can have some. She says no. He asks
if that is her final answer. She says yes. He asks if he can
call a friend!!
3 Comments, 57 Views,
4 Votes
,2.08 Score
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women win again !!! 7/30/2000
Three men are walking in the desert when they come across a
beatiful oasis. Underneath one of the palm trees one of the men spots
something shining in the sun. After a bit of sand clearing he recovers
a lamp and yes you've guessed it after a long hard rub out pops a
beautiful female genee.
The curvacious genee princess offers them a wish each. The first
man asks for 1 ...
0 Comments, 6 Views,
1 Votes
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What a reputation 7/13/2000
Jock McTavish was in his local, depressed and drowning his sorrows
with whiskey. He takes a big gulp and says to the landlord... "You see
that fence over there, I built that by all by myself, hewed and
carried the timber from the forrest, cut and set the posts, split and
hung the rails. But do they call me McTavish the fence builder - No
they don't" Jock orders another large whiskey, ...
0 Comments, 14 Views,
0 Votes
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What's the difference... 7/11/2000
What's the difference between a condom and a coffin?
They both hold stiffs but one is coming and one is going.
0 Comments, 7 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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Wedding Bells 6/27/2000
Q: Why does the bride smile as she walks down the aisle to
the altar? <br>
A: Because she *knows* that she will never have to give another
blowjob again!
0 Comments, 5 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Three beggars 6/22/2000
Three beggars are begging in New York City.
The first one wrote 'beg" on his broken steel cup and he received
ten dollars after one day.
The second one wrote "beg.com" on his cup and after one day he
received hundreds of thousand dollars. Someone even wanted to take him
to NASDAQ.
The third one wrote "e-beg" on his cup. Both IBM and HP sent vice
presidents to talk to him about a ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
0 Votes
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Tattoo 6/18/2000
A woman goes to a tattoo artist and asks to have her boyfriends name
tattooed on her ass for a birthday present. The artist says OK what's
his name. Brandon Broncowitz says the lady. The artist says thats a
lot of letters. Maybe it would be better to just put his initials. He
will know what they stand for. She agree's, so the artist places one
B on each of her ass cheeks and she goes ...
0 Comments, 133 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Talking Frog 6/5/2000
An errant drive took my ball into the trees and out of bounds. I
searched and searched for the lost ball. Just as I was about to give
up, I heard a voice and turned to see a frog. The frog said, "Kiss me
on the mouth and I will turn into a beautiful 25 year old nympho. I'll
wear you out." Sometime later I finally returned to the course, and to
the demands of my playing partners that I ...
0 Comments, 7 Views,
0 Votes
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seven dwarves 6/3/2000
One Sunday, after mass 2 nuns were talking outside of the
church when they heard some voices coming toward them. When they
looked they saw that it was the seven dwarves. They appeared to be
chanting "Ya did it, ya did it, we KNOW ya did it!" Pretty soon Doc
says "Quiet down boys. Perhaps one of these nuns can resolve our
little problem." Doc goes up to the nuns and asks, "Sisters, I ...
0 Comments, 17 Views,
0 Votes
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Red Neck Birth control 5/24/2000
An Arkansaw woman goes to the doctor and says that she would like her
husband to be castrated, The doctor gave her an empty soda can and a
cherry bomb. "Light the bomb and give it to him, ask him to count to
fifteen then he'll be fine"
The woman goes home and does as he asked, confused as to why a tin
can could castrate her hubby.
"Here honey count to ten" said the woman.
The ...
0 Comments, 23 Views,
2 Votes
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threes guys and a mormon 5/4/2000
Three guys and a mormon were standing around talking one day and the
first guy says , "I have 4 , one more and I'll have a basketball
team," the second guy says so.. "I have 8 , one more and I'll have
a baseball team,".. The third guy says, "SO I have 11 , one more
and I'll have a footbal team"... The mormon laughing says thats
nothing.."I've got 17 wives, one more and I'll have a ...
3 Comments, 134 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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2 lawyers in a bar 5/4/2000
Two lawyers were in a bar during happy hour sharing a beer,
when this sexy/shapley blond walks by, the first lawyer
says to his friend, "I'd love to fuck her" the second turns
and says "really, outa what?"
3 Comments, 136 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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No Kidding 4/27/2000
Someone took a poll of 38, 500 women and asked them what their
ultimate fantasy was. 97.6% of the women said their ultimate fantasy
was to have two men at once.....One doing the cooking and one doing
the cleaning... I do windows, now come I'm lonely?
And a friend sent me a list. She knows me too well:
<br>
SIGNS THAT YOU ARE NO LONGER A ........ HOW MANY ARE FAMILIAR? ...
0 Comments, 30 Views,
0 Votes
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Best Damn Blow Job 4/25/2000
There was this guy sitting on a park bench muttering to himself
and spitting. He would mutter, then spit, mutter, then spit, he would
say, "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive", then spit, "Damn, that
sonofabitch can drive", then spit, "Damn that sonofabitch can drive",
then spit.
A man sits down next to him and asks him, "What's going on here? You
keep saying, "Damn that sonofabitch can ...
0 Comments, 18 Views,
5 Votes
,0.86 Score
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